Blow Up Babes and Bracelets
by Cheer-The-Underdog-On
Summary: Roxas is a blow up doll, and Axel is agoraphobic. Sometimes magic can be found in weird, weird ways. M to be safe due to adult humor.


Axel may or may not be in love with his sex doll.

That sounded so wrong, but fuck, he was so perfect. He couldn't help it. He'd dropped close to a grand and a half on the blond little thing. The doll was 5' 7" because that was Axel's ideal. He had blue eyes just like the redhead's first love, and blond hair was a given because the thirty year old couldn't picture being with anyone of another hair color. It was almost a fetish.

And he didn't keep him naked like most people would figure. No, the doll wasn't hidden in a closet, locked away from prying eyes. He was given a proper pair of clothes and laid on Axel's bed almost as if he was sleeping. "Roxas," He cooed, "I got you a new pair of clothes~" A cute pair of boxer-briefs and one of his t-shirts. Almost as if the doll was his boyfriend spending the night.

Pathetic? Axel thought so too. He just couldn't imagine finding a man with the personality that he imagined Roxas had. Twenty-twoish. Psychology major. Didn't like coffee. Liked snuggling. Witty. Friendly. Not a twink, but did tend to run a bit more submissive, so Axel could care for him, but be cared for in return. Ugh, there was so much wrong with him, but what was he to do when his imagination made Roxas the perfect boyfriend? No arguing, no mess, just a body in his bed and the body of Adonis to fuck. Lately it had been more like make love with, though.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. What would his therapist say? He wouldn't ever tell her. She had tried to help him with his agoraphobia for almost half a year now, but it still wasn't worth it to him to go out and date someone when he had cute boy right here. Working on another security feature, Axel was grateful he could work from home.

He wondered what Roxas' voice would sound like.

Focus. He needed to focus.

But how could he focus this late at night while his cutie needed attention? "Come here, babe." He set down his laptop and pulled the doll close to spoon him, "I bet you're lonely, hmm?"

As usual, there was no response, but his mind conjured one, "_Of course I am, love. You need to pay more attention to me._"

Roxas was a tease, so Axel chuckled a bit, "Like I don't pay enough attention to you already…"

A week came and went, and finally, he had to go outside.

_**OUTSIDE, SCARY, LOUD, TERRIFYING.**_

"_Try to be brave…I love you_." Roxas cooed as Axel shaved and prepared for war.

"Of course, we need food after all." Groceries were part of his therapy. He wasn't supposed to have them delivered anymore. A high price to his emotional stability, but it was 'necessary and required' for progress.

Taking those first careful steps out of his apartment, he turned the corner and bumped into a woman whose bags went everywhere. They were filled to the brim with second hand clothes, and Axel's gut reaction was to apologize and run back inside, but he stayed to help her pick them up, "Sorry again, ma'am." He stated sincerely.

"No problem." She laughed, "They were my mother's. She lived in apartment 3C, but she just passed away."

Awkward. "Sorry for your loss?" That's what he was supposed to say, right?

"Nah, it's fine. She was a crazy old bat. Believed in witchcraft, the occult, and all kinds of zany stuff." Tucking some hair behind her ear, she gave him a flirtatious smile, "Well...I better get going. My husband is downstairs."

Thank goodness. Good riddance. This has been way too much talking, "Bye." He grinned moving past her down the hall. Something gold on the floor as he started for the stairs caught his eye, "Ma'am?" Axel stooped to pick it up, "You dropped something." Looking at it, the small bracelet seemed as if it were for a woman. It was filled with charms of some sort.

Turning back to look at it with arms full, the lady rolled her eyes, "Keep it. Give it to your girlfriend."

Oh. Well, uh- The redhead supposed Roxas _might_ like it.

After groceries, he returned home to put things away and gift his lover with the small piece of jewelry. The trinket slipped around his wrist almost perfectly, "It doesn't really look like it's your style…" Axel groaned, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I dunno." Roxas chirped, "I like it." Lifting his wrist to inspect it, he smiled at the redhead, "What do you think?"

Wha-

Wai-

No.

No, no, no.

_Nope._

He had finally lost it. Time to call the mental hospital.

"Stop looking at me like that." The blond snorted, "You look stupid." Blinking a couple of times, Axel tried to close his mouth. "Say something!" Roxas blushed, "You're acting like I did something weird."

"That's because you did!" He shouted, "What the hell!?"

Roxas huffed, "What did I do!?"

"You started talking!" He looked around for someone else to witness this craziness. "Am I being pranked?" He asked himself out loud. Then it hit him.

Witchcraft.

"Oh my gosh. This is some weird spell and I'm going to get shanked by the devil tonight. No. Fuck no. Take that bracelet off right now, so I can go give it to a priest." What kind of bracelet turns sex dolls human?

"No, I like it." Roxas stated firmly.

Oh. That made things a bit harder. "But Roxas-" He whined, "Please? I don't want a demon pact with my soul."

"No. You're being stupid." Actually, the smaller man wasn't sure of that, but he wasn't about to go back to not being able to talk and move, "Now go back to work. I'm going to go have some tea. I'm cold. I need a shower too." He pulled the blankets closer to him.

Axel sighed not sure on whether to give up or not, "We're not done talking about this." He stated firmly.

"I expect not. We need to have a conversation about a lot of things. Your performance in bed being one of them." Roxas crossed his arms stubbornly.

Blushing up to his ears, the redhead hoped that didn't mean what he thought it did.

How could he not have pleased a sex doll?

* * *

**Done for Spoony-monster's AU prompt thing. Review. Layla betaed.**


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